She was gone
by obsessivecartoonlover
Summary: Marco always knew that Star would have to go, but he didn't think it'd hurt this much.


She was gone. Never to return. And they had both known that it would happen. But they pretended it never would just so they could have a little while of happiness. But now all that joy they once experienced together was gone along with her. And now he was alone. And not okay. _I'm not okay._

Marco would go through the days unfocused and lost in her memory. He couldn't escape her. He would always end up looking towards where the blonde's room once was. His eyes always searched for her. He always searched for her. He wanted it to be some stupid game she was making up the rules for again. He _needed_ this to be a stupid game. Without her, he was empty. He was alone. No more mess-up twins anymore, no more best friend, no more Star.

It was her birthday when they took her away. He would never forget how somber and depressed she looked when he greeted her that morning. He couldn't forget the tears in her eyes while she explained _that she was leaving and they would never see each other again._ And while she broke down and sobbed into her hands, he stood there. Frozen. Ummoving. And he didn't say a word. Because everything was numb. And that was not okay. And both teens went around like that the entire day. She never stopped crying and he never spoke. Her voice was hoarse and her eyes dull. His voice was silent and his eyes unblinking. They weren't okay. This wasn't going to be okay. She's not okay. I'm not okay. But she had to go. They knew that. So all they did was hug. She said "I love you Marco." and he said nothing. Because he was scared. And Star left while he stood there, staring at the sky.

He could have told her that he loved her. That's what he had wanted to say. But he couldn't. It hurt too much to say that. But she could. Because Star was strong and confident. She was the sun, the moon, everything to him. Star made him feel good. She believed he was the coolest guy in the world, quirks and all. He believed he mattered because of her.

And he blew it. He stared at her with dead eyes as she poured out her heart to him. And Marco couldn't even respond. He was stuck with hearing those words but never saying them back. He had wanted to, it would've been a dream to take her out on a date, and kiss her and show her how much _she mattered._ How she had changed his life.

Maybe he was too over-dependent on her. Maybe that's why everything had stopped when she left. Why nothing mattered anymore and why he could care less about the things going on in the background. Maybe that's why she left. It was all because of you Marco. You're the reason everything goes wrong. You're why she left. You were too clingy and attached to her. _But she loved you._ No. She only said that to make you feel better. She lied. She doesn't care. _She doesn't matter and neither do you._

So he destroyed everything. Destroyed any pictures or evidence that she ever existed. He screamed and yelled. He punched things and fought. He argued and would run away in a huff. Because he was angry. And all that rage was directed towards her, the girl who ruined his life. Everything she said was a joke, every accidental touch was a tease on her end. Star knew that he loved her and she celebrated how sad and pathetic his crush was. Because the princess was cruel and enjoyed his misery. So he did those things because all he saw was red and that needed to stop.

But it didn't stop. No matter how angry he was it wouldn't stop. By the end of the day he'd be sobbing again and telling her how sorry he was. How wrong it was to excuse her of these things. How he wasn't okay. He was suffocating and slipping into oblivion with no chance of return. He couldn't go on without her. It was too hard. Everyone said he'd get over it. But he couldn't.

Because she was gone. While he was here, alone and useless. He knew what everyone thought of him. He was nothing without Star. All he could do was be the safe kid. Because that's all he'll ever be. He's not important, he's not worth it. Every day he was reminded of that. Every day was another reminder of how much he sucked as a person. How awful and weird he was. How I don't matter. How I shouldn't exist. I shouldn't be here. Why am I still here? Every thought is more threatening than the last. More hurtful and bent on my destruction. It's tearing me apart from the inside out. I can't breathe. It hurts. Everything hurts. And everything's fading. I can't see anything. But that's okay. Because for once, _I'm okay._

I wake up in a hospital gown, with an IV in my arm. People crowd into my room, arms filled with cards and plushies with a smile that seems real. My mom's hugging me tightly and crying while my dad stares with tearful eyes. And then I'm crying and smiling, giving apologies for everything. And everyone's crying.

But for once, it's a good cry. Because this time I know it'll be okay. I'll be okay. And Star's gonna be okay too. We'll all be okay.

 **I dunno man...I don't even ship this bro. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you liked it!**


End file.
